Tess in Beirut, Lebanon, 1991
I've worked as a news and features journalist for more than twenty years, writing as Tess Stimson for a host of newspapers and magazines including
Woman, the Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, Daily Express, The Times, You and Glamour. (Check out the antique Tandy to the right!)
Sex, adultery, the pain of losing your parents, the joy of buying shoes...I've covered them all.
Below are just a few of my articles.
If you'd be interested in having me write for you, please see my contacts page.
I don't regret my fashion fails
"Fashion is about fun - as evidenced by the disasters in my wardrobe."
Why I cheated on my husband with a female friend
"We don't need men biologically any more as fathers, we've often raised our children, and we find we
have more in common with other women then with men."
I told off a disabled child
"It's a parent's duty to raise polite, civilized human beings. Even if their child is disabled."
I gave up sex for a year
"Want to put the spark back in your love life? Give up sex for a year!"
My 13-year-old daughter is so much prettier than me
"I was an ugly duckling, but my teenage daughter is a beautiful swan.
Should I be jealous?"
I was the favourite child
"Growing up as the apple of my parents' eye led to severe panic attacks when I was an adult."
"Being the star of the family left me with a constant need to be the centre of attention."
Sex with a woman
"I’d had plenty of experience with men, but I was a novice with women.
I can only compare it with trying snowboarding for the first time after years as an alpine skier."
Yes, I'm a shopaholic
"Tallying up the amount I've spent in the past 20 years on clothes,
I stopped when I reached £100,000, too horrified to continue."
"Shoes are like men. You can have sexy or comfortable, but you can't have both."
"Apparently the average woman spends £37,000 on her hair in her lifetime...all I can say is:
is that all?"
Sex after marriage
"Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It thrives on power plays,
unfair advantages, role reversals, seductive manipulations and subtle cruelties."
"How, exactly, do you enjoy marital relations when you have a young child in the bed with you?"
"Want to save your marriage? Ignore your children!"
Why I wouldn't give my sister a kidney
"When your closest relative urgently needs a kidney, who could say no? I did."
"We owe it to all those who depend on us, not just the person in need, to make the right
choice - which isn't always the easiest one."
The Curse of the Clinging Ex
"I knew how much it infuriated my ex’s new girlfriend to be constantly reminded that whatever
she might do with my ex-husband, I’d been there and done it first."
Trophy Wives 2.0
"Many powerful and successful businessmen want high-achieving wives; not because they need
the money, but because they are used to having the best of everything - and that includes women."
Why I'm glad my parents are dead
"As I watch my friends and contemporaries - the so-called ‘sandwich generation’ -
struggle to balance the need of their ageing parents with those of their children, fighting to hold
down jobs and marriages, their finances buckling under the strain, I’ve realised there’s a silver
lining to being a 42-year-old orphan."
10 signs your man is cheating
"3 out of 4 men in marriages or long-term relationships are likely to have an affair...
and two-thirds of their wives and girlfriends will have no idea."
The hand that rocks the cradle
"They say the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. She also wrecks your family,
ruins your children and can destroy your marriage."
When is a woman too old for long hair?
"For three days I didn't sleep from nerves. Never mind the crisis in the Middle East or
global warming. I was going to cut my hair."
Why Santa makes me saucy
"Maybe it's the promise of Tiffany boxes to come. It could be all that mistletoe. But there's
no denying it: the very thought of Christmas gets me in the mood."
How far can you go before it's cheating?
"A woman who bares her soul to a man feels intensely attached to him, even if she doesn't
actually sleep with him: you have only to look at the tendency for women to fall in love with their psychiatrists and priests."
The death of dignified funerals
"Do you really want to spend all eternity with Robbie Williams' 'Angels' ringing in your ears?
A few weeks in the Top Ten was enough for me."
Spare men the reality of childbirth
"There are simply some things we're meant to do in private. Vomiting, for example."
A real woman's guide to Valentine's Day
"Pampering, presents and sexy lingerie? No, true love is more about screaming kids,
chewed nails and wonky bikini lines."
The great beauty con
"Women are in thrall to the fashion world's phony ideal of beauty. Here, one writer,
using their tricks, turns herself into a cover girl and asks: Isn't it time we stopped buying into this sham?"
Why I'm sick of parachute dads
"They drop in, spoil the kids rotten, then leave their ex to pick up the pieces."
Could you do a booze-free Christmas?
"Like many fortysomethings, although I knew I probably drank more than was good for me,
I took comfort in numbers. Everyone else I knew was drinking the same amount - we couldn't all be alcoholics,